Art vs. Ministry: Part 9 - The Most Dangerous Prayer

I had a great conversation with an old friend last night. When I was living in Calgary during my last two yeas of university, Justin was one of my best friends and I loved spending every moment with him (except when he was hungry in which he became a very mean and grumpy person). Justin and I have more in common than any other person I’ve ever met and we think so much alike it’s scary. He’s also a musical mentor of mine (see this blog from April) even though he’s 2 or 3 years younger than me. Not only is he the best bass player I’ve ever played with (no offence to Ross, Tim, and the others players I’ve had the pleasure to play with), but he’s got a great head for music and simply just loves to play. He’s got more talent in his two, small Asian hands than I do in my whole body. It’s really quite remarkable. Above that, his passion to use his talents and abilities to glorify God is just as remarkable.

After playing catch-up for a while, we started to talk about music and where he was in his life. He’s practically playing full-time as a session guy for numerous musicians in Alberta and though he isn’t rolling in the dough, God is blessing him with the experience, relationships, and provision he needs to move on in his journey. To be honest, I was a little bit envious. As we talked, the conversation moved to where I am in my musical & spiritual journey and he proceeded to challenge me with a tough question: “are you waiting to hear from God what His will is for your life is or are you willing to step out in faith and hope it is His call”.

At first, I stammered at the question and got him to unpack it for me.

“Are you waiting to hear from God what His will is for your life is?”
“Yes”

“Are you at the place where you’re willing to step out in faith?”
“Sure.”

“Even if it meant not knowing where you are going or having no security?”
‘Well…”

I had a tough time with that part. I turn 26 in a few weeks. Even though I still consider myself young, I do have a wife of four years and a 16-month-old child whom I need to care for and put above my own wants and desires. I am in no way saying Cat and Noah are keeping me from any dreams or desires I have. That is certainly not the case. They are along for the ride with me and we follow God’s calling no matter where, when, or why we go. Marriage implies the two become one concept and I don’t believe God calls one and not the other; God’s will is all inclusive and is perfect, right, and good.

I explained to Justin that Catherine and I are in limbo right now. We’re not sure what God wants for us in our lives right now.
Are we content with where we are? I suppose we are, but we know there’s more for us.
Are we willing to drop everything in order to follow where He leads us? Most likely.
Do we believe that God would put us in a situation where we are not happy? No.
Do I believe God would put us in a place where we are not using our gifts, abilities, and relationships to serve Him? No. Luckily he doesn’t work that way.
The trouble is, though, that Christians today have difficulty living the “stepping out in faith” part. Sure, we can say we’re willing to follow Him wherever He leads, but sometimes He asks us to do things we just don’t want to or don’t believe He’d ask us to do. Basically, sometimes God’s will is easier said than done.

This past Sunday, my father-in-law preached a fantastic sermon on “praying the most dangerous prayer”. He talked about praying the phrase “use me, Lord”. That’s dangerous stuff because we don’t know what that entails.

Me: “Use me, Lord”
God: “Ok, then I want your identity, your influence, and your income”
Me: “Mmmm… all of those things?”
God: “Yup”
Me: “You sure?”
God: “Yes”
Me: “How about just…”
God: “All of them”

God wants our identity. He wants who we are. He wants what we stand for. He wants to change us to become more like His son. He wants us to reflect His love.
God wants our influence. He wants to use us and show others what He’s done for us, through us. He wants our words, music, love, and actions to affect others.
God wants our income. No only does God want to be control of our money but he wants us to use our possessions and tools to His glory and purpose.

These are tough things to give up, but following God’s will truly requires a step of faith. A walk into the unknown. A moment where you push all your chips in hoping your hand is better than his. God has pulled Catherine and I out of the miry clay before. He has provided for us when provision was scarce. He has blessed us many times before. I don’t believe these things ever stop but it’s a matter of believing He will keep doing it if you’re willing to lay it all down for Him. It’s a dangerous prayer and I am ready to pray it. I am ready to follow the next step in His will for our lives. Where to, God?