Being the Fathers' kind of father.

Two years ago (and add another 9 months or so) I would have told you that I wasn't ready for kids, that I was too young for the responsibility of taking care of another human. In fact, at that time, I was probably still learning how to take care of myself and a new 5-months old puppy. Fast forward 35 months, Catherine and I are watching a "Thomas the Tank Engine" DVD with my 2-year-old son, Noah. We're coming off of the (sugar) high of another birthday and the low of stepping into the inevitable "terrible twos".

I couldn't be happier.

Now, if you would have asked me 9th months ago about having a second child I would have laughed and said we were going to wait until Noah was starting school. Fast-forward 3 weeks and we'll be welcoming a new baby boy into our lives... again. We're praying for a healthy, safe delivery for both Mommy & Baby and Noah is getting excited with the thought of having a brother. It's really quite nerve-wracking, the thought that God has entrusted us with another human. We must be doing something right (other than successfully closing the deal on conception, of course). Everyone says that "everything changes" when you have the second child. I don't doubt it. Things changed with Noah and they'll change with our new son three-fold.

I could be more excited.

For the past few weeks, our small-group has been watching/talking about a series on Jesus' Prodigal Son parable. Save God's own image and example of being "Father" to all, the father in the parable is whom I want to strive to be. Maybe not now. My son is still trying to make coherent sentences, let alone decisions to take his inheritance and waste it on booze and hookers. But when my boys are old enough to make those kinds of decisions, I want to be the father who loves them anyway; no matter what. Like Isaiah 38:19b: "fathers tell their children about (God's) faithfulness".

When I think about being that father, I look at my own life and wonder if what I'm doing, who I am, and where I'm going is consistent with my abilities to be a good father, husband. That's when I really want to change the way I do things. I guess you've got to learn to love yourself before you can love others. When my kids are old enough to understand and live out the life of a Christian, I want make sure I've got my own spiritual things in order. I want to know I am intentionally wanting to learn more each day from God's word. I want to know that I am following God's will for my life. I want to know I'm using my gifts & abilities in the way He wants them used. I want to know my life is daily being thrown on the alter as an offering for him. I want my life to exemplify the life of the Father with the two lost sons; willing, ready, and able to love both no matter what.

Being that kind of Father is difficult. Consistent. Devout. Serving. Set. Wise. Firm. Accountable. Dependable. Loving. Nurturing. Strong. Patient. But, it's possible.

I guess I better get to work, huh?

Trading comfort for human life; that's not just murder, it's suicide.

I called this blog "an inward audio" because I believe in this innate sound that we all have inside of us. I'm not necessarily talking about our "conscience" (although, I believe that's probably a part of it) but there's a sound that is found in us that only we can hear. It's universal to us yet sounds differently to each of us. Consequently, this inward audio has the same denouement for everyone; the same ending and means to an end. What makes it different to each of us is how often we listen to it, what it says/sings to us, and how much white noise masks the correct sound. I long to hear an inward audio that speaks/sings louder than all the other noise in my heart, soul, or whatever else is contained in your upper thorax.

There's a fella named Derek Webb who, for lack of better definition, is one of the most controversial Christian artists/writers ever. I also believe that alone propels him to the upper-echelon of Christian artists. You may know him as part of the folk-rock band Caedmon’s Call, but his solo work is what really defines him as being an exceptional writer. I believe Derek Webb has a unique sense of listening to that inward audio I speak of. While I'm sure, like many of us, he has to discern between the inward audio and the noise that surrounds it, but I believe Webb is one of the most disgustingly honest and potent writers out there. That's a good thing. In fact, that's a great thing.

He writes songs of all kinds, from comedic to truth that makes you cringe, but I find he particularly excels in writing songs of social commentary and social justice. On one hand, he pens great phrases like the ones seen here in the song “I Wanna Marry You All Over Again” which recounts the story of meeting and falling in love with his wife:

I wanna marry you all over again/I’ll meet your parents at the airport bar/I’ll take you out in my rental car/I wanna court you on the record label’s dime

I wanna buy you an old upright/I wanna accidentally stay all night/I wanna read the Bible and I wanna make out.


Then, just as quickly, he can move into something much more serious and thought-provoking like the disparaging (but poignant) remarks made in “Rich Young Ruler”:

Poverty/ is so hard to see/ when it’s only on your TV/ or 20 miles across town/Where we’re all living so good since we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood/ where He’s hungry and not feeling so good from going through our trash

He says “More than just your cash and coin/I want your time, I want your voice/I want the things you just can’t give me”

So come on and follow me/Sell your house, sell your SUV/Sell your stocks, sell your security/ and give it to the poor

I was listening to Webb’s latest release called “The Ringing Bell” at work this morning. I honestly can’t say I’ve consciously made it through the whole album (that is, really pay attention to the lyrics), but there's a song called “This Too Shall Be Made Right” which talks a bit about the way we treat each other, ourselves, and the earth. I believe it also speaks a bit to the exclusion of things like oppression and poverty in Heaven. It’s a short song, but is totally worth a read (let alone a great, simple melody). Check it out here.

I really encourage you to take a listen to Derek Webb’s stuff. In fact you can download “The Ringing Bell” FREE @ noisetrade.com. It’s a site that Derek highly supports which distributes free digital downloads of music from independent artists. It’s an important site as it doesn’t necessarily promote the “anti-download” side of the spectrum, but encourages a way for seldom-heard artists to get their great music and important messages out to listeners... for free.

All this to say… Sometimes our inward audio isn’t always rainbows & butterflies. Our inward audio wants to direct us on a path that is righteous and holy… and brutally honest. Webb’s inward audio informs us that we, as Christians, aren’t doing a good enough job exemplifying the life of Christ in our actions. I know I’m not. Not just socially, but personally. There’re always changes that need to be made. Thus, there will always be “that sound” inside of us and listening is really just the beginning. What’s it saying to you?

Art vs. Ministry: Part 3

My last few blogs haven’t really been much about music and the “inward audio” I often speak of, so I had some thoughts today I had to get off my chest and would appreciate some feedback. So, I bring to you…

Art vs. Ministry: Part 3

Deuteronomy 31:19-22
19 “Now therefore, write down this song for yourselves, and teach it to the children of Israel; put it in their mouths, that this song may be a witness for Me against the children of Israel. 20 When I have brought them to the land flowing with milk and honey, of which I swore to their fathers, and they have eaten and filled themselves oand grown fat, then they will turn to other gods and serve them; and they will provoke Me and break My covenant. 21 Then it shall be, when many evils and troubles have come upon them, that this song will testify against them as a witness; for it will not be forgotten in the mouths of their descendants, for I know the inclination of their behavior today, even before I have brought them to the land of which I swore to give them.” 22 Therefore Moses wrote this song the same day, and taught it to the children of Israel.

We have a very creative God. Music was one of the many “arts” that was created under Him. There are over 1100 references of music, instruments, and/or singing between Gen: 31-:27 and Rev: 18:22-23. In the bible, there are all sorts of reason for singing: marriage, praise, bereavement, merriment, worship. I’m sure that with the various kinds of instruments (flute, harp, lyre, cymbals, etc.), there were also different styles of music. It’s important to note that God created not only music as a whole but different sounds & kinds of music.

I think that one of the biggest mistakes any one person who enjoys music can make is being exclusive to one or two genres of music. I grew up on metal and anything loud. Metallica, Finger 11, and Nirvana were my bread and butter as a wee young’n. I even had a major Marilyn Manson phase, if you can believe it. But, as I’ve grown older my tastes have changed quite a bit. I’m now listening to rock, pop-rock, blues, (self-coined term) ”computer-rock”, alt-rock, worship, world music, singer/song-writer stuff, new-school jazz, and even some post-hardcore. I think it’s important for any musician to explore as much music as possible. There's no better way to expand a musicians abilities and gifts than to expose themselves to music that they would not normally listen to. Steve Vai, guitar virtuoso, emerses himself in all kinds of music (like Hungarian wedding music and Indian tabla/sitar songs) that heavily make its way into his own music. Vai is one of the most influential, accomplished, and versatile guitar players in teh world. I'm sure that if I hadn’t been introduced to John Mayer’s acoustic version of “Neon” I’d still be stuck with Dream Theater in my headphones and playing old Metallica riffs. Listening to Mayer’s great song-writing and smooth guitar playing also introduced me to bands like The Police and Marvin Gaye as well as re-igniting my love for Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan. And, through my years with JSB, Jay and Sunny introduced to other bands like Copeland, Future of Forestry, and even Coldplay that really made me think outside my musical box.

So where does this all fit in the “Art vs. Music” dilemma I’ve been exploring? I thought about it this afternoon, and you don’t find many “ministries” that are making art (bare with me here before you get all puffed-up). Sure, worship music is still “art” and worship leaders/song-writers are “artists”. I won’t dispute that; God made music which is an “art”. And while I like a lot of worship music available, there aren’t too many song-writers willing to push the envelope of worship-music with (in my opinion) the exception of people like David Crowder and Charlie Hall who are using on-stage sequencing/loop programs like Ableton & Reason run and instruments like turn-tables, Guitar Hero controllers, and toy Xylophones to push their musical sound-scapes. All that, and their focus is on leading a large group of people to a place of communicating with God through music. However…

Then there’re the bands, artists, and musicians who are always reinventing what people think of music. Sufjan Stevens, Radiohead, and Feist are a few names that come to mind that I believe are redefining the art of music. Yet, while I do not necessarily love all of their music, claim to be ½ as talented as those individuals, nor inspire to make similar music, I long to follow their footsteps and be artistic and create. I don’t quite understand how to make “ministry” out of a form of art that isn’t necessarily meant to spiritually rejuvenate a specific group of people.

I could define Christian Ministry as a definite profession that serves the specific function of meeting people's needs with love and humility on Christ's behalf. Christians are to minister to others out of their devotion to Christ and their love for others, whether the other people are believers or unbelievers. Ministry to others should be impartial and unconditional, always seeking to help others as Jesus would. So, can ones profession of being an “artist” still meet these specific needs? There are plenty of artists out there who are Christians, write/sing about Christian things, yet don’t consider themselves a ministry. Moreover, they’re introducing Christ (whether obvious or not) through their music. Is that still ministry or does ministry have to have the purpose of teaching/leading other into a better understanding of Christ or introducing others to the person of Christ? There’s a question for some discussion. I’d like to hear some different opinions.