Being the Fathers' kind of father.

Two years ago (and add another 9 months or so) I would have told you that I wasn't ready for kids, that I was too young for the responsibility of taking care of another human. In fact, at that time, I was probably still learning how to take care of myself and a new 5-months old puppy. Fast forward 35 months, Catherine and I are watching a "Thomas the Tank Engine" DVD with my 2-year-old son, Noah. We're coming off of the (sugar) high of another birthday and the low of stepping into the inevitable "terrible twos".

I couldn't be happier.

Now, if you would have asked me 9th months ago about having a second child I would have laughed and said we were going to wait until Noah was starting school. Fast-forward 3 weeks and we'll be welcoming a new baby boy into our lives... again. We're praying for a healthy, safe delivery for both Mommy & Baby and Noah is getting excited with the thought of having a brother. It's really quite nerve-wracking, the thought that God has entrusted us with another human. We must be doing something right (other than successfully closing the deal on conception, of course). Everyone says that "everything changes" when you have the second child. I don't doubt it. Things changed with Noah and they'll change with our new son three-fold.

I could be more excited.

For the past few weeks, our small-group has been watching/talking about a series on Jesus' Prodigal Son parable. Save God's own image and example of being "Father" to all, the father in the parable is whom I want to strive to be. Maybe not now. My son is still trying to make coherent sentences, let alone decisions to take his inheritance and waste it on booze and hookers. But when my boys are old enough to make those kinds of decisions, I want to be the father who loves them anyway; no matter what. Like Isaiah 38:19b: "fathers tell their children about (God's) faithfulness".

When I think about being that father, I look at my own life and wonder if what I'm doing, who I am, and where I'm going is consistent with my abilities to be a good father, husband. That's when I really want to change the way I do things. I guess you've got to learn to love yourself before you can love others. When my kids are old enough to understand and live out the life of a Christian, I want make sure I've got my own spiritual things in order. I want to know I am intentionally wanting to learn more each day from God's word. I want to know that I am following God's will for my life. I want to know I'm using my gifts & abilities in the way He wants them used. I want to know my life is daily being thrown on the alter as an offering for him. I want my life to exemplify the life of the Father with the two lost sons; willing, ready, and able to love both no matter what.

Being that kind of Father is difficult. Consistent. Devout. Serving. Set. Wise. Firm. Accountable. Dependable. Loving. Nurturing. Strong. Patient. But, it's possible.

I guess I better get to work, huh?

My Favorite "M"s of 2009: Movies, Music, Memories

Wow, it's been October since I last blogged. That's a long time. My apologies. I've either been really boring, had nothing to say, or have wasted all my thoughts and happenings on Twitter. Actually, all of the above apply but I figure what better way to end a year of incessant blogging with my annual "Best Of..." blog where I tell you all about my favorite movies, music, and memories of 2009. So, let's go:

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MOVIES:

Favorite Movies of 2009:


STAR TREK - I'm not a Star Trek fan, but this movie was pretty spectacular. And, loving anything JJ Abrahms does helps a lot. casting was great and was far from "geeky".

Avatar - I wasn't gaga over the storyline (since it's one we've all seen before), but the visual "experience" in the theater is amazing. It's like Jurassic Park, Pocahontas, and Star Wars in a blender... in HD... and 3D.

State of Play - great acting, great story, and great twists. Definitely a drama you've gotta catch if you haven't seen it. The ending was really good.

Inglorious Basterds - in my opinion, Tarantino's best work. It read like a novel (that you watch) and had amazing dialogue (though there was often too much of it). I had no idea what would happen next and was not disappointed.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - well, I've got a soft spot of Marvel Comics, and although Wolverine is one of my least favorite of the x-Men, the story was great and tied in nicely with other Marvel universe stories and characters. Can't wait for X-Men Origins: First Class

The Hangover - this was funny. If not for the dirty pictures/scenes during the closing credits, I would have loved this movie, but I found them uncalled for. It would have been better if we were left not knowing what happened during the bach party. Zach Galifianakis is freakin' hilarious.

The Reader - although it was nominated for multiple awards in last tears' Oscars, it was still released in 2009. Kate Winslett had an amazing role and the story was excellent.

Honorable Mention:
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
I Love You, Man
The Road

Worst Movies of 2009:


Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - I don't even want to talk about this one. It was terrible. Terribly terrible. Even Megan Fox was terrible in every way. I still Ike Shia Labeouf, though.

Knowing - any suspense/action movie that Nicolas Cage is in is almost always terrible. the ending was really bad.

Adventureland - what I was hoping would be a funny flick turned out to be a depressing, annoying lump of coal.

Yet to See:
Up
Public Enemies
The Informant
2012
Up in the Air
Bad Lieutenant
Crazy Heart

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Music

Favorite Albums of 2009:

Seabird - 'Til we See the Shore
Though none of these categories are in any particular order, this was easily my favorite album of the year. Like a non-depressing 'Copeland", Seabird have fantastic melodies, groove, and catchy pop-tastic songs... all lead by piano. The title track is on non-stop on my iPod.

Derek Webb - Stockholm Syndrome
I will admit it. Derek Webb's twitter ramblings about this new record had me scouring to follow its release over the net. Yes, it was self-hyped but I still love it and is unlike anything he's put out before. Derek Webb is constantly changing his sound, and this one was particularly welcome.

Future of Forestry - Travel: Vol. I & II
FoF released two 6-song EPs this year so I'm counting the first two of the 4-volume manifesto as one record. I followed the process of this record and it's seriously great. Especially since The Myriad hasn't released anything in what seems like forever.

MuteMath - Armistice
awww, the long-awaited followup to MM's self-titled release. I wasn't disappointed. Production is great and although their style may have sightly changed, the sound didn't and I love this record.

U2 - No Line on the Horizon
It's U2. Have they ever put on out a bad record? Yes, I'm including POP. I loved POP. It took me a while to dig this album, but once I did, I had to go see them live. So I did. It was awesome.

Paramore - Brand New Eyes
I though Paramore's record would be more of the same pop-punk from RIOT!, but they added some styles and sounds you wouldn't find on any other Paramore release. It's a good'un.

Kelly Clarkson - All I Ever Wanted
The production on this album is fantastic. And while it's not as good as 'Breakaway", it's leaps and bounds better than "My December"



On the Fence:


John Mayer - Battle Studies
it's not that I don't like this album, it's just that's it's so much different than JMs other records. It's a lot less blues/rock and a lot more 1970s rock/pop/ballad. Most notably, it's a lot less memorable for me. There are still some tasty tracks, though.

Christy Nockels - No Not One
I like half of the album. The other half I dislike. A few choice songs, Nathan Nockels' production value, and Christy's amazing vocals save this album from being a complete disaster

David Crowder Band - Church Music

Let me say that I don't hate this album. but I don't love it either. There're a few tracks I really dig but there are just more tracks that I disliked. I found it over-produced. DCB overuse a lot of sounds, tracking, and loops which take a way from Crowder's strong worship writing and instrumentation. I was hoping "Church Music" would explore a biblical or historical view of chruch music throughout Christendom. Rather, they just tried to make a record to please a few ears.


Switchfoot - Hello Hurricane

Most will agree that Switchfoot's best release was "The Beautiful Letdown" and while no one else seemed to like "Oh, Gravity" as much as I did., Swicthfoot's latest release didn't live up to either, in my opinion. That being said, it's the next best thing and there're some stellar tracks that I really dig.


Most Dissapointing (but not terrible) Albums of 2009:


Metallica - Death Magnetic

Metallica tried to get back to the "classic" Metallica sound/arrangement. They were close, but not as good as past releases. However, it's still far better than Some Kind of Monster. Far Better.. Lars turned his snare drum on and may have used a click in some parts.

Thrice - Beggars
I also followed the recording of this record via blog, but I wasn't pleased with this self-produced/self-engineered project. I especially hate some of the drum sounds and the song-writing has seemed to lose some edge to it.

Muse - The Resistance
Again, I don't gate this record, but if I wanted to hear orchestral music, I would have bought something else. Though I understand the musical genius of Matt Bellamy and Co., I just didn't "get" this record. Half of it is classic Muse sound while the other half is Bellamy showing of his classical piano chops and orchestral arrangements. I imagine it'd still be quite the sight to see live, though.

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Memories

- this year I got to see a lot of great concerts which included my first U2 experience, seeing rock-and-roll pioneer Paul McCartney, my favorite guitar-virtuoso Joe Satriani in his supergroup Chickenfoot (which, while kind of lame, also included RHCP drummer Chad Smith), and one of my childhood favorite bands in Stone Temple Pilots. I also saw OLP for the 4th time, Finger Eleven for the 5th time, and Sloan for the 2nd time.

- watching Noah grow from a baby to a toddler has been a cool experience for Catherine and I. He's a brave little boy and his vocabulary is amazingly extensive at this stage in his life; he's almost putting together coherent sentences. Almost.

- although the news of having another baby was initially frightening to Catherine and I, we made it a point to make sure we saw this as a blessing and something that God has intrusted us with. Though Noah is sometimes too full of energy, has his odd tantrum, and still has some issues with sleeping through the night, he's becoming more and more joyful to teach and parent each day. He's such a joy to us and we can't wait to have more of that in our lives as we await the arrival of another boy at the end of March.

- I'm still trying to come with grips as to why I'm still stuck at the same job after nearly 5 years. I still truly believe that God has a ministry and/or vocation for me on the horizon but I have yet to know what that is. Trusting and awaiting God's will for my life becomes the most difficult thing in my Christian walk, yet I see the foreshadowing in small ways on a daily basis. This year, I was really hoping God would provide me with a musical outlet that I'd be able to express myself with; unfortunately, that hasn't come. Although JSB has been a tiny bit more active then in years past, I still long to find a musical outlet God can use all of my abilities and gifts.

- In November, we moved into our first home and that was a story of God's timing, will, and love for us. Although it's hard to see some months where the mortgage payment will come from, we believe that God would not provide us with such a wonderful home and not provide us with a means to afford it. We found a home that met all our needs and wants in a home and for a price that only He could have blessed us with. The whole process was smooth and the situation was absolutely laid out by God's hand for us. We're always grateful for a roof on our head, but having one you own is that much more gratifying.

- our church has seen some great growth, both spiritually and numerically, which has been really needed and gratifying. The work our Pastor and leadership have put into making Lutes Mountain Nazarene a small thriving church is amazing. Though the church is in a financial tough spot, God continues to bless it in other ways and the church remains faithful to wherever He leads. We're looking forward to serving again this year and see what God has in store for us next.

- my dad retired from the Royal Bank after 37 years of work. That's quite a feat, espeically while doing it at only 57 years of age. To celebrate the momentus occasion Dad and I made a whirlwind trip to Toronto to watch a hockey game (his Leafs versus my Flames), visit the Hockey Hall of Fame, and eat at my favorite Toronto eatery, RichTree. It was a great weekend and I'm happy we got to spend it together. Dad was very honoured by our gift and had a great time.

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so that's my year in review. stay tuned for some more blogs soon, likely about Christmas and other goodies. I promise to do this more often. It's fun and helps waste a few minutes at work when it's not busy.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Cambers family.
Jamie, Catherine, Noah, and Morris.

Arts vs. Ministry: Part 10 - Baby Blue Prints

So, it’s probably not news to many who know me personally, but Catherine and I are now expecting our second child. While it did come to us as a surprise last Monday, part of me said “it figures”. Another child was in our own plans for the future, but not this soon. At a point where it felt Catherine and I were making some progress on where our lives may have been taking us next, God throws us a curve ball.

He does that.

We to realize it’s just another part of the journey; another thing God is preparing us with. Another responsibility he’s blessing us with. He does that.

Of course, this is where the old adage “all in God’s timing” comes in. I’m semi-grateful for that because I'm always keen to understood His timing. I always thought that the whole desires of our hearts verse had a sense of immediacy to it. I was wrong. “Trust in Him and He will do this” does not mean God will provide my desires as soon as I find myself in a place of delighting, obeying, and pleasing Him. Rather, as you continue to read Psalm 37, the promise of God fulfilling your desires requires more thought and duty: “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways…” ("37:7a"). I am impatient and sometimes envious of others.

I’m sure a lot of people share these same feelings, but when you see someone with something you like/love and want/need, and begin to long for it, that is envy. If it gets out of hand to where those things become something to replace more important things in your life, it becomes idolatry. For example, I’ve got a number of friends who are in positions or situations I wish I could be in. Either playing music for a living or are in a creative/musical environment that I wish I could be involved in. Sometimes I envy that. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I got asked by an old friend in Calgary to move there so I can be apart of a musical project. It’s with a country artist who’s expected to be the ‘next big thing’. A few months before this, it was suggested by another friend that I be apart of another musical project which would also require a move to Calgary. While that sounds fun and exciting, it’s another thing to get up and move my family across the country to an enormous city where the cost of living is 4x as much as it is here in Moncton. Even without these opportunities for me, Calgary seemed very intriguing to Catherine and I. Her sisters both live there, we have many close friends there from our University days, there’s more opportunity for Catherine in her field of work (at twice the salary), and we just love the city. I won’t even mention it’s the home of my favorite sports team. But is this what God wants us to do and where He wants us to go? I wish it were as easy to say “yes, we’ll move to Calgary and all our dreams will comes true”. But here’s where our struggle lies… Is God slowly and subtly showing us a new plan for our lives by tickling our fancies or are our own ambitions and desires overshadowing another plan He has for us? After all, God wants to give us the desires of our hearts… right?

Sometimes, it’s hard to see the things that you desire and long for coming to fruition in the lives of others. But, it’s no secret God has different plans for each of our lives. God knows what is best for our own lives and gives us blessing upon what we’re capable of handling. We are told to "guard well" the things God has entrusted us with. Blessing just doesn’t stop with what’s been given to us. We are also supposed to use those blessings to keep giving glory, honor, and praise to Him. I’ve always maintained that wherever He leads, I will be quick to follow. Whatever cards I’m dealt, I’ll play. Whatever I’m given, I’ll be happy with. It's hard sometimes, but I try.

While the prospect of another new human in the house and both exciting and terrifying, I cannot let myself believe it changes God’s plan for our lives. Rather, it’s another way that God shows us His good and perfect will for our lives. Another child further expands our usefulness for sharing God’s love and faithfulness. It doesn’t change God’s plan for us; it just alters our own view of what that plan is for us. I still believe the things we long for will come to fruition, but not in our timing, not in our desired moment, nor in our own blue-print.

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I must add, now that I've read over this, that I am not ungrateful or dissapointed with the arrival of a new baby no matter how scary and trying it will be. While I will not argue that being a parent is often frustrating and exhausting, watching Noah from day 1 to day 511 has been an absolute, pure joy and there's no explanation to how much happiness he brings to our lives on a daily basis. I can honestly say I look forward to see that happen in another child we've created and seeing God's process work in our ever-expanding family.

Noah's First Birthday

I haven't blogged much about being a dad. I guess it's because it's a position that naturally comes without notice and is a gradual learning process. If I'm being as honest as I can, it's the most frustrating and rewarding thing I've ever had to experience. On the one hand, I'm not sure if there's any better sight than to see my son, Noah, smile and no better sound than to hear him giggle. I know that sounds cliche and sappy, but it's the Gods-honest truth; I'm sure any dad will agree. On the other hand, the first 9 months or so were a bit of a challenge because of loooong nights of 5 or less hours of sleep, headaches from the screaming and crying, and the worries that surround his eating, sleeping, and pooping habits. It's all relative when you're a dad.

But, today Noah is one year old and I couldn't be happier. Not only for him but his health, to see him grow, develop a personality of his own, and see him change daily. A year of my life has never gone faster, and I thank God for the many blessings he's given us, getting us through financial difficulties, and most importantly blessing us with a boy that coudln't make us any happier. Since Noah wasn't planned this earlier in our marriage, God has challenged us to be as good a parent as ours were to us and I believe we're walking in the right direction. I can admit that God still has some things to do inside of me, but I believe He's teaching me and Noah has been a huge part of that.

Noah is starting to walk now (actually, he just took 4 steps and bailed beside me while I write this) and his baby-babble is more prevalent (yet, still irrelevant), and he's sleeping about 10-11 hours a night. He's a beautiful boy and Catherine and I are so proud of him. And, if I can say so, I'm proud of us too. We've survived the first year and I imagine the second will be just as rewarding, exiting, and purely frustrating as the first. Funny thing is, I can't wait.

Happy 1st Birthday Noah.
I love you and can't wait to put skates on you so you can make me millions when you're older.
Or, put you behind a drum-kit so I can have someone to jam with.



PS: I've made a video of Noah's first year and I will post it as soon as I've finished editing it... stay tuned.
PPS: Macs make life so much easier.