Arts vs. Ministry: Part 10 - Baby Blue Prints

So, it’s probably not news to many who know me personally, but Catherine and I are now expecting our second child. While it did come to us as a surprise last Monday, part of me said “it figures”. Another child was in our own plans for the future, but not this soon. At a point where it felt Catherine and I were making some progress on where our lives may have been taking us next, God throws us a curve ball.

He does that.

We to realize it’s just another part of the journey; another thing God is preparing us with. Another responsibility he’s blessing us with. He does that.

Of course, this is where the old adage “all in God’s timing” comes in. I’m semi-grateful for that because I'm always keen to understood His timing. I always thought that the whole desires of our hearts verse had a sense of immediacy to it. I was wrong. “Trust in Him and He will do this” does not mean God will provide my desires as soon as I find myself in a place of delighting, obeying, and pleasing Him. Rather, as you continue to read Psalm 37, the promise of God fulfilling your desires requires more thought and duty: “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways…” ("37:7a"). I am impatient and sometimes envious of others.

I’m sure a lot of people share these same feelings, but when you see someone with something you like/love and want/need, and begin to long for it, that is envy. If it gets out of hand to where those things become something to replace more important things in your life, it becomes idolatry. For example, I’ve got a number of friends who are in positions or situations I wish I could be in. Either playing music for a living or are in a creative/musical environment that I wish I could be involved in. Sometimes I envy that. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I got asked by an old friend in Calgary to move there so I can be apart of a musical project. It’s with a country artist who’s expected to be the ‘next big thing’. A few months before this, it was suggested by another friend that I be apart of another musical project which would also require a move to Calgary. While that sounds fun and exciting, it’s another thing to get up and move my family across the country to an enormous city where the cost of living is 4x as much as it is here in Moncton. Even without these opportunities for me, Calgary seemed very intriguing to Catherine and I. Her sisters both live there, we have many close friends there from our University days, there’s more opportunity for Catherine in her field of work (at twice the salary), and we just love the city. I won’t even mention it’s the home of my favorite sports team. But is this what God wants us to do and where He wants us to go? I wish it were as easy to say “yes, we’ll move to Calgary and all our dreams will comes true”. But here’s where our struggle lies… Is God slowly and subtly showing us a new plan for our lives by tickling our fancies or are our own ambitions and desires overshadowing another plan He has for us? After all, God wants to give us the desires of our hearts… right?

Sometimes, it’s hard to see the things that you desire and long for coming to fruition in the lives of others. But, it’s no secret God has different plans for each of our lives. God knows what is best for our own lives and gives us blessing upon what we’re capable of handling. We are told to "guard well" the things God has entrusted us with. Blessing just doesn’t stop with what’s been given to us. We are also supposed to use those blessings to keep giving glory, honor, and praise to Him. I’ve always maintained that wherever He leads, I will be quick to follow. Whatever cards I’m dealt, I’ll play. Whatever I’m given, I’ll be happy with. It's hard sometimes, but I try.

While the prospect of another new human in the house and both exciting and terrifying, I cannot let myself believe it changes God’s plan for our lives. Rather, it’s another way that God shows us His good and perfect will for our lives. Another child further expands our usefulness for sharing God’s love and faithfulness. It doesn’t change God’s plan for us; it just alters our own view of what that plan is for us. I still believe the things we long for will come to fruition, but not in our timing, not in our desired moment, nor in our own blue-print.

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I must add, now that I've read over this, that I am not ungrateful or dissapointed with the arrival of a new baby no matter how scary and trying it will be. While I will not argue that being a parent is often frustrating and exhausting, watching Noah from day 1 to day 511 has been an absolute, pure joy and there's no explanation to how much happiness he brings to our lives on a daily basis. I can honestly say I look forward to see that happen in another child we've created and seeing God's process work in our ever-expanding family.