Noah's First Birthday

I haven't blogged much about being a dad. I guess it's because it's a position that naturally comes without notice and is a gradual learning process. If I'm being as honest as I can, it's the most frustrating and rewarding thing I've ever had to experience. On the one hand, I'm not sure if there's any better sight than to see my son, Noah, smile and no better sound than to hear him giggle. I know that sounds cliche and sappy, but it's the Gods-honest truth; I'm sure any dad will agree. On the other hand, the first 9 months or so were a bit of a challenge because of loooong nights of 5 or less hours of sleep, headaches from the screaming and crying, and the worries that surround his eating, sleeping, and pooping habits. It's all relative when you're a dad.

But, today Noah is one year old and I couldn't be happier. Not only for him but his health, to see him grow, develop a personality of his own, and see him change daily. A year of my life has never gone faster, and I thank God for the many blessings he's given us, getting us through financial difficulties, and most importantly blessing us with a boy that coudln't make us any happier. Since Noah wasn't planned this earlier in our marriage, God has challenged us to be as good a parent as ours were to us and I believe we're walking in the right direction. I can admit that God still has some things to do inside of me, but I believe He's teaching me and Noah has been a huge part of that.

Noah is starting to walk now (actually, he just took 4 steps and bailed beside me while I write this) and his baby-babble is more prevalent (yet, still irrelevant), and he's sleeping about 10-11 hours a night. He's a beautiful boy and Catherine and I are so proud of him. And, if I can say so, I'm proud of us too. We've survived the first year and I imagine the second will be just as rewarding, exiting, and purely frustrating as the first. Funny thing is, I can't wait.

Happy 1st Birthday Noah.
I love you and can't wait to put skates on you so you can make me millions when you're older.
Or, put you behind a drum-kit so I can have someone to jam with.



PS: I've made a video of Noah's first year and I will post it as soon as I've finished editing it... stay tuned.
PPS: Macs make life so much easier.

Trading comfort for human life; that's not just murder, it's suicide.

I called this blog "an inward audio" because I believe in this innate sound that we all have inside of us. I'm not necessarily talking about our "conscience" (although, I believe that's probably a part of it) but there's a sound that is found in us that only we can hear. It's universal to us yet sounds differently to each of us. Consequently, this inward audio has the same denouement for everyone; the same ending and means to an end. What makes it different to each of us is how often we listen to it, what it says/sings to us, and how much white noise masks the correct sound. I long to hear an inward audio that speaks/sings louder than all the other noise in my heart, soul, or whatever else is contained in your upper thorax.

There's a fella named Derek Webb who, for lack of better definition, is one of the most controversial Christian artists/writers ever. I also believe that alone propels him to the upper-echelon of Christian artists. You may know him as part of the folk-rock band Caedmon’s Call, but his solo work is what really defines him as being an exceptional writer. I believe Derek Webb has a unique sense of listening to that inward audio I speak of. While I'm sure, like many of us, he has to discern between the inward audio and the noise that surrounds it, but I believe Webb is one of the most disgustingly honest and potent writers out there. That's a good thing. In fact, that's a great thing.

He writes songs of all kinds, from comedic to truth that makes you cringe, but I find he particularly excels in writing songs of social commentary and social justice. On one hand, he pens great phrases like the ones seen here in the song “I Wanna Marry You All Over Again” which recounts the story of meeting and falling in love with his wife:

I wanna marry you all over again/I’ll meet your parents at the airport bar/I’ll take you out in my rental car/I wanna court you on the record label’s dime

I wanna buy you an old upright/I wanna accidentally stay all night/I wanna read the Bible and I wanna make out.


Then, just as quickly, he can move into something much more serious and thought-provoking like the disparaging (but poignant) remarks made in “Rich Young Ruler”:

Poverty/ is so hard to see/ when it’s only on your TV/ or 20 miles across town/Where we’re all living so good since we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood/ where He’s hungry and not feeling so good from going through our trash

He says “More than just your cash and coin/I want your time, I want your voice/I want the things you just can’t give me”

So come on and follow me/Sell your house, sell your SUV/Sell your stocks, sell your security/ and give it to the poor

I was listening to Webb’s latest release called “The Ringing Bell” at work this morning. I honestly can’t say I’ve consciously made it through the whole album (that is, really pay attention to the lyrics), but there's a song called “This Too Shall Be Made Right” which talks a bit about the way we treat each other, ourselves, and the earth. I believe it also speaks a bit to the exclusion of things like oppression and poverty in Heaven. It’s a short song, but is totally worth a read (let alone a great, simple melody). Check it out here.

I really encourage you to take a listen to Derek Webb’s stuff. In fact you can download “The Ringing Bell” FREE @ noisetrade.com. It’s a site that Derek highly supports which distributes free digital downloads of music from independent artists. It’s an important site as it doesn’t necessarily promote the “anti-download” side of the spectrum, but encourages a way for seldom-heard artists to get their great music and important messages out to listeners... for free.

All this to say… Sometimes our inward audio isn’t always rainbows & butterflies. Our inward audio wants to direct us on a path that is righteous and holy… and brutally honest. Webb’s inward audio informs us that we, as Christians, aren’t doing a good enough job exemplifying the life of Christ in our actions. I know I’m not. Not just socially, but personally. There’re always changes that need to be made. Thus, there will always be “that sound” inside of us and listening is really just the beginning. What’s it saying to you?